Last night I ditched making dinner and actually watched my kids learn to roller-blade outside. It was nice and calm and good to see the kids having fun! (Even though in the back of my head I was stressed out about not having something for Eric to take for lunch today). He didn't take it too bad (just called me a slacker, jokingly). While I still feel bad that he didn't have left-over dinner to have for lunch today, it felt so good to relax and be a tiny part of the kids' fun. (We did eat eventually. Mac-n-Cheese).
For those of you who don't know Eric is in law school and he works full-time so on the days that he has class he leaves at 6:40am and I don't see him 'til around 9:30pm, (which for this summer semester is twice a week but fall and spring are three days a week). Any kids that aren't up in time to see him leave don't see him at all that day (which is usually the four of them, except to possibly wave goodbye out the window to him as he's driving away).
The dinner situation is sticky because he takes two PB&J sandwiches for dinner on the days that he goes to school (so two days a week) and that's every-other-day, so he doesn't want sandwiches for lunch that's why it's important to have dinner leftovers and mac-n-cheese doesn't cut it. He was a very good sport (as long as I don't make it a habit it will be fine).

It seems like so many people who blog are just so happy. I don't know if that's because all they post is the good stuff or what! If I waited to blog 'til I felt that way you might get something new every few months. Even others' bad days are fun to see and learn from. They still end up looking/sounding genuinely happy.
I want to find that happiness.
Maybe I should name this blog The 30 Year-old Whine Spot. I'm such a boob!!!

I got home not long ago from a friends house that I tried to share the gospel with. Not sure how it went. It all felt pretty awkward. She's moving next week so I had to make my move. I care about her so much that I couldn't let her move away without giving her "something". Anyway I probably gave her meat before milk and I'm feeling pretty bummed.
I can't help but think about how blessed I am to have the fullness of the gospel because I know how stubborn I am and I wonder if I'd ever be able to leave what I was taught to live in a manner I have not heard much about.
I hoped for the Spirit to be there but I didn't feel anything significant and she seemed distracted.
So now I'm left feeling bummed out, let down, unsuccessful and a little sad. Is this a "normal" feeling?
Anyway, I don't have anybody to talk to so...(Eric's at school and my closest friend here just had a baby, my mom is busy and I don't feel like calling anybody else to whine to).
Just feelin' a little down and out. I hope I'm over it soon (and without chocolate).

Today is our 12th anniversary! YAY us!

Blessings

Did obtain a small miracle in the middle of the night last night when our loving Heavenly Father made Emily's tummy better IMMEDIATELY!!! He's just amazing. Even with faith I was surprised at the speed of which she was made better.
She went to bed with a sore tummy (that's been on and off for a few weeks now) but she woke at 12:30 am with it hurting and she woke me up. I went in and rubbed her tummy as she turned this way and that trying to get comfortable. After she lay still just a little while and I thought she was settled I got up to go back to bed. She said something like "Don't go yet. Stay just a little bit longer." So I sat beside her bed and rubbed her tummy some more and since she's been having a sore tummy so often (and it was the middle of the night and I LOVE my sleep) I prayed for Him to heal her tummy, intestines, kidneys, whatever the problem was. I mushed on her tummy some more and it started to make noises (before I had put my ear to it and it was silent) that I could hear without getting close! Just after that she said "You can go now."
I was AMAZED! I probably shouldn't be because I know that Heavenly Father can heal us but, nevertheless I was amazed at how fast and well He had done it for me!!! I love Him! I'm so glad that He knows me and loves me and helps me!

Yesterday Tayler got her Bluegrass Appliance put in (to correct her tongue thrust). On the way home we stopped at my friend's house to buy some eggs so I left the kids in the van for a few minutes. I got the eggs and my friend (who was "due" yesterday but still hadn't had the baby) seemed fine with visiting so we started talking. Her son came in the room and I asked him to tell my kids they could get out of the van and he said they already had. Well, my friend, Stephanie, said that she worried about Emily playing near the road (and I agreed) and Colin said that Emily was still strapped in her carseat. I asked him if he would tell my girls to get her (Emily) out and play in the backyard (as Stephanie suggested). He happily went on this errand (he's a VERY good kid) and I guess in all the excitement of getting to play with each other they ALL forgot little Emily in her carseat. I went on visiting, thinking everyone was playing nicely together when about 1/2 hour later I heard the kids getting into the van (the window in the house was open) and I heard them say something like "Poor baby!" so I went running outside to get Emily (whom they were just pulling out of the van) soaked with sweat. Can I just say I felt sick!!! I always wondered how in the world kids got left in vehicles and died. I normally do NOT leave my kids in the van but I figured that if they were all in there the older ones would figure a way to get everybody comfortable, I never dreamed they would leave their sister in there! I am relieved that she is fine but HOLY COW that was scary!!!

Okay, for those of you who don't know, Kristin has been my best friend since we were 13. She was born the day before I was and whenever possible we were inseparable. Kristin's mom always encouraged our friendship and was always a great source of comfort and strength. Her words of wisdom were never belittling, but encouraging and helpful. She would always smile our frustrations away. I love that about her. When the air was thick all it would take was a few words and her big smile and I felt at ease. How I love that woman. I don't have one bad memory about her. She's just awesome and I'm happy that she can rest from the cares of this world, though I know she is missed. The sadness of the death of someone so wonderful is only left for those of us left behind who will miss her. I am relieved to know that she's not in pain anymore, that her loved ones here were able to let her go, and that she has loved ones on the other side of the veil that welcomed her with loving, happy, arms and hearts. She is not gone, she has just moved one step further than we are now and someday we'll meet again.
My heart aches for Kristin and her family. I love them and am so sorry that they have to experience this at this time in their lives. It is sad to not have her here now; there is pain in our hearts and minds for the things we wish we could experience with her here.
How grateful I am to know that it is not the end; that their family will all be together again and that they will not be separated again. What a wonderful plan our Father in Heaven has made for us. How grateful I am that it's not a secret or a surprise, but something that we can look forward to and work toward.

In Memory of PaulaKae Moss Clayville
For now, the wound is fresh
The sting is hot and painful
It all seems dark and dreary
The feeling is disdainful

I wish for peace and joy
But all I feel is pain
I'm searching for the sunshine
But all I find is rain

Will it ever go away
This ache that overwhelms me
Won't something drown it out
This pain's not meant to be

Paradise is beautiful
Her family's there to greet her
Peace is what we long for
Her peace is there to meet her

Why should I cry and feel despair
When I know things there are better
Still I will cry to find relief
When I am sad without her

The sun will shine and it will warm me
But that won't be today
I will smile and feel just fine
But it's not yet come my way

Soon it will come and when it does
I will gladly soak it in
My heart does swell and want relief
I'll let Christ make peace within.
-Minetta Chesley 06/09/08

Sad to have learned today that Kristin's mom passed away last night.